I’ve wrestled with an issue for much of the last year. I know that I need to promote myself and my talents as a photographer, but at the same time I also struggle with the concept of not puffing myself up and boasting of what I do.

For the month of May I challenged myself to do something a little different. I decided to take the whole month and not promote myself to anyone: potential clients, Twitter followers, cold calls/emails, etc. Any of my social networking comments, conversations, emails, etc. would only be about personal things and would not be related to “look what I’m doing” or “hire me.”

The idea came to me after I had finished teaching my first Light & Commerce workshop. I had finished up the day telling 20 people who each paid $275 all that I knew about the technical and business side of commercial photography. It was the oddest feeling when I was walking out to my car afterwards.

I had expected to feel very satisfied that I had helped people out and proud that I had found a way make some extra money in this tough economy. What I felt instead was a deep feeling of humility. The workshop had gone extremely well according to all the feedback I had received. I can’t explain it but I felt deeply, deeply honored that people would fly in from other cities to hear me speak and teach.

Me with the Nashville Light & Commerce attendees

That led me to a new feeling of true humility where I decided that many of my motives for much of what I had called “self-promotion” had been nothing but me wanting to boast and brag about my accomplishments.

I guess I felt a little “dirty” and self-centered. Self-promotion itself is not a bad thing, in fact it’s vital to any self-employed person’s business. But for me it was all about what was in my heart. My heart was not right.

So I decided in late April to purge myself of all that self-centered garbage and try some real humility on for size. It was a little bit hard not blogging and posting about the many, many cool things that ended up making up my May. I was insanely busy and would catch myself thinking “I wish I could post/blog this and tell everyone what cool thing I’m shooting/doing.”

It was a very cleansing experience. I think I’ve made great strides in not caring what others think of me or my supposed “accomplishments.” Jesus said in the book of Luke 11:43

“A curse is on you, Pharisees! for your desires are for the most important seats in the Synagogues and for words of respect said to you in the market-place.”

I have been a deeply committed follower of Jesus Christ since the age of 20 and those words of his are pretty sobering. The only people in the Bible Jesus ever had harsh words for were the religious people who thought they were so high and lofty, better than everyone else. To those who knew their wretched state, he had much, much mercy on.

I have never, ever been someone who thinks of themselves as better than others, but I think I’ve always wanted others to think I was successful. I think it comes from growing up so poor, wasting the first 20 years of my life, almost failing out of high school and almost killing myself through drugs and alcohol. I’ve always wanted to prove to people that I really “had made it” and wasn’t still the punk rock, idiot that I was growing up in Broward County, Florida.

Ok, now I’m getting personal. But if I have to publicly embarrass myself for the sake of possibly helping someone else not go near the cliff of self-centered living, then I’m all for it. I see too many photographers trying their best to make themselves seem like “gods of photography” and it really breaks my heart.

There are so many people trying to make it as photographers these days and it seem for many it’s for nothing other than a chance to be famous or admired.

“It’s an American Idol syndrome that has filled our culture saying that being famous for something is more important than actually doing the thing itself.”

So for all of my May I told God that if he wanted me to be promoted He would have to do it. He would be my social network. It turns out May and June have been my most successful months so far this year (and it’s only June 8th.)

Now that June is here I am going back to “here’s what I’m shooting, doing, etc.” but I am being very careful to keep my heart in check and make sure I’m doing it as a smart business person and friend to many, and not to just make myself feel or seem successful or important.

David